when you were young you were the king of carrot flowers

Today is prom.

Two days ago was my play and everythin and it went marevlously, many thanks to everyone who helped me out with it.

Five days from now I graduate.

Spent a lot of time with deirdre and her west hartfordy friends the past couple days, melanie's nice.

I've been feeling nostalgiac about anything and everything, last night while falling asleep i kept doing a sort of free association thing where i let one memmory lead me into the next till I was running back and forth through innumerable lifetimes which cannott possibly be apart of the same continuous thing, and decided that i believe in reincarnation, but only before death.






she said let's put a plastic bag over our heads
and then kiss and stuff till we get dizzy and fall on the bed
we were in heaven for five or six minutes and then we passed out
and I was so in love I thought I knew what love was all about

in church on sunday morning making out in front of the preacher
you had a black shirt on with a big picture of Nietzsche.
When we had done our thing for a full christian hour,
I had made up my mind that there must be a higher power.

at a Christmas-party, I hold your hair when you vomit,
I help you up to brush your teeth, and then I'd kiss your stomach.
We lie still on your bed, the room is lit only by the tele
and it's a perfect night for feeling melancholy

Its been a long time since I've updated, as it always tends to be.

Too much to talk about.

But overall things are good, I'm going to college (at Johns Hopkins) and thats all decided now and everything is ending, gloriously, tragically ending, its a prison sentance thats ending far too pre-maturely except to call high-school at a well to do new england prep school a prison sentance would be to flout a complete ignorance for what a real prison sentance is actually like. The only thing going to k-o has in common with serving a prison sentance is the endless anal rape in the showers, but thats where the similarities end.

Next month is gonna be nuuuttttttttsssssss. The last tests of my life, followed by my play, prom, gradaution......

Is it the beggining of the end or the end of the beggining? Or the climax? the denouement perhaps? Is he trying to hard to make his live journal sound whimsical and witty? But eric is just so naturally whimsical and witty he cant help himself. Yes, yes you're right thats true. I love eric so damn much. I think about him at night and touch myself. Oh me too, doesn't everybody? Yes, yes I do believe EVERYBODY does.


So anyway. Life is good.

A wop bam a loo bop a wop bam boom

the musical is over, which is in many ways a relief. It went over pretty well though, performance was fun and such.

In current events:

-last friday hung out with deirdre and lauren and briefly ben and they showed me how to catch grapes in my mouth. It was nice.
-saturday...pam got sick so i hung out with ram saw "Why we Fight" which makes me wanna overthrow the government..but i'm in my pajamas at the moment...so i guess the revolution will just have to wait..thennnn.....set up for the white out dance and watched palindromes ate pizza and whatnot

then there were five days of "hell" that actually weren't that hellish unless hell turns out to be rehearsing a silly 50's musical in which case it was EXACTLY like hell

-friday, deirdre and i caught grapes in our mouths and watched sex lies and videotape and i ate a belgian waffle with ice cream at A.C. Petersons and it was probably one of the best things thats ever happened to me
-saturday..thesisized and musicalized, bought books, brautigan and eggers both good
-today, more izing and a cast party


this week should probably be easy once this thesis is finished an my physics is done


everything should probably be getting easier


i want it to be spring and to be reading in a chair
and they'll be white shit falling on me..that fluffy white shit that comes out in spring
i love that stuff

dhsjksh

this weekend:

hung out with pammers friday night, there were unitarians over who loved raymond, and we ate pizza and chips and some cheese and watched the last 4 episodes of arrested development, and starred at board games.

her basement is really cool. it has a bookshelf filled with all of the bad presents you ever got at your birthday when you were a kid. boardgame after boardgame, sometimes two of the same, and then endless unopened arts and crafts kits.

saturday i went to a birthday dinner with mike and stu and came home to find a.....SURPRISE!

i was too embarassed by the spectacle of it to say anything for a while. I hadnt had a birthday party in a while and it was a nice thing. iw was really so nice of everyone. there was i ce cream cake but i forgot to make a wish, what a waste that was.

sunday was snow and thesis


today was skoool, there was 90 minute delay but i missed the boat on that one and had to go get pancakes with my brother to kill time

i feel odd and i dont know why



i'm looking very much forward to college and this summer and this spring. and pretty much everything that isnt the here and now.

though i am looking forward to sleeping right now


I'll conclude with a joke:

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse says "Well I just found out I have aids and I guess I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself" and the bartender says "Oh my god I'm sorry, that's awful."

Ramona, come closer,
Shut softly your watery eyes.
The pangs of your sadness
Shall pass as your senses will rise.
The flowers of the city
Though breathlike, get deathlike at times.
And there's no use in tryin'
T' deal with the dyin',
Though I cannot explain that in lines.

Your cracked country lips,
I still wish to kiss,
As to be under the strength of your skin.
Your magnetic movements
Still capture the minutes I'm in.
But it grieves my heart, love,
To see you tryin' to be a part of
A world that just don't exist.
It's all just a dream, babe,
A vacuum, a scheme, babe,
That sucks you into feelin' like this.

I can see that your head
Has been twisted and fed
By worthless foam from the mouth.
I can tell you are torn
Between stayin' and returnin'
On back to the South.
You've been fooled into thinking
That the finishin' end is at hand.
Yet there's no one to beat you,
No one t' defeat you,
'Cept the thoughts of yourself feeling bad.

I've heard you say many times
That you're better than no one
And no one is better than you.
If you really believe that,
You know you got
Nothing to win and nothing to lose.
From fixtures and forces and friends,
Your sorrow does stem,
That hype you and type you,
Making you feel
That you must be exactly like them.

I'd forever talk to you,
But soon my words,
They would turn into a meaningless ring.
For deep in my heart
I know there is no help I can bring.
Everything passes,
Everything changes,
Just do what you think you should do.
And someday maybe,
Who knows, baby,
I'll come and be cryin' to you.

Current Mood: confused

last night i hung out with pam, we ate at a greek diner with a cool waitress and "west hartford" ginger ale which was flat, then we went to her house and watched thumbsucker which was dissapointing to me but she liked it.

then we walked. she has a gorgeous neighborhood for walking. she walks very fast.

today it rained a lot and i saw squid and the whale with alex levine which was excellent though sad

I'm going skiing now in vermont which is nice cause i haven't done that in two years.

i've been reading nothing but salinger non-stop for the past two weeks and I'm loving it, i really want to be a buddhist intellectual living in the Jewish bourgouise of post world war 2 new york. well not really, but when i'm reading i do.

Here's a quote from seymour that may or may not be relevent to anything, i havent given it much thought:

"i'm a kind of paranoaic in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

i havent updated in a while, though i guess that goes without saying

no one decoded my last entry

there wasnt much to decode really, but there are song lyrics spread out between the gibberish, ten gold stars for the person who can corectly identify the song they're from!

tonight was the alumni dinner thing, it felt like graduation or something or the end of the world

or actually it felt a lot like a reunion

a three hour reunion

it was really nice though, grahm, lauren, deirdre and I sat alone at a table because we were just so fucking artsy we scared everyone away.

sample conversation from the table:

Grahm-"My new name is Voltaire"
Deirdre-"Laaaaaaaaammmme"


i've been feeling up and down lately. the surges from one to the other unusually intense.


this weekend looks interesting


the world is not nearly round enough.

Current Mood: ?
Current Music: belle and mutha fuckin sebastian

fg..

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Dsdfjks jsdksjd urei ,ccj fiksa 22fsdjj sjdj jsdbs all dqwqgd ikaid dhsd cshcjsd dasdb
dnsjd ddnjdd kddj ddjdssd oowppd sjf jds sdjdsduefewifana. dhdjsdhsj hfuh ihsibno, dhsdjhsd
quiwyewu rffhjf564 fj sdoh ahdh the djsbw jfuubs.


dsjuudhsjfhf sjdk ait sdh.

dssjdhdjhj jsdhu wh aapjfds spilt milk dshd djhsfd ifhjf fjshfkfb qdsjdbsd

fbdjfdshfkd!

ndfkdfn shjkwe dhfihf dksff oo[dadnsdd sex fhfdsj eiwhffao; fheug 22fndff dkfddfv0 sdaolhfz;hffhkfdj and kddhfd;d;s mjhallsd'p!

dhsjd fuegf ojh et?

bfndbfdhf weight dhd fdhfd eghk.

dhsjdhs it fjdjkfjlfdlfd.

sjdlsdjsdks all dfft gus ifnffe gfvfvd will jhsdjd fdkfdj.


sdjskdjk fdfjdfh fall fefre dsasa jkkdfkj (dsjdshk). POP!

dsjdhsjdf fall sdkjs yotiyto mnmfi wfskl fall right fkdfjo fdflkte fdkfd sfl riotr rw dkdj wkjfdl slofksjf into jdsnd fgkfjd fkfjd diffldfdfk place wqjfhdk.



hiddbte!

Current Mood: reiopv
Current Music: psdjskd-nuhdu jkans

i have a myspace now

www.myspace.com/levitz

or atleast i think thats it

come be my friend

sooo the last week....too much to go into to cover the last month...


well twelf night happened, that went swimmingly, much better than expected, cheers for everyone

tuesday went to see bright eyes in worcester...after an intial, predictable dissapointment it was quite fun.....lot of drowning in human bodies trying to push to the front...alex and i screaming at jen and laura to "put it on"...the opening band magic numbers was a really friendly group of fat bearded men and women from britain who were quite likable...feist was cool but mad weeeirddd...and bright eyes couldnt sing very much but his backing band was stellar

last night i went to dierdres and ate vegan pad thai, watched part of hannah and her sisters, played with balloons, ran naked to a playground and went down a slide, held dogs while she and jodi smoked

break is shaping up really nicely....

i have an idea for a play but its gonna take a lot of work and i'm worried its gonna fall apart, we'll see

i really need to write something


i dont know what to do about some things

its hard to tell whats right


but yeah i got to admit its getting better



atleast thas how it seems


tommorow should be fun, and so should the next day, and the next thirty years

Current Mood: EVERYTHING
Current Music: yo la tengo

many thanks to catherin for her ghetto fabulous update

i dont know whats been goin on..lots and lots of time since my last update

i saw death cab in rhode island with mike

i like rhode island a lot

things have been up and down and around, and i think they're startin to go back down again but no matter

did the canada trip, that was wild, many cool peeps including ms. Hatch, and those delightfully debauch British fellows from the redding bluecoat school, particularly Tom Roesnthaal who's audacious effeminate scarves are an inspiration to us all.

The trip was very nice overall, Montreal in the fall, when it isnt a billion degrees below zero, is quite pretty.

I'd say more but what happens in Canada stays in Canada.

(except for caroline and mike! wink wink, nudge nudge)




fuckin a man


Time is moving faster and faster. As you get older every day is a smaller and smaller fraction of what you've already been through and it just keeps moving, and its accelerating so fast right i'm completly lost.

and the days move slow


oh and I had morrocan cheese balls with dierdre, and listened to stories of her many curious adventures with bizarely curious elderly men.


i need a new hobby, i'll take any suggestions you might have. Make it creative though.


yearbook page...dis shit is bananas...i dont know what to do, i dont take pictures much, i brought a camera to school and took random pictures of people sitting around but i realized that was a terrible idea.

a final thought from George Carlin:
"if you live long enough, everyone you know has cancer"

Current Mood: morbidly depressed
Current Music: nothin'

whaaassssupp yalll its yo man erock up in canada yknow what im saying? im debatin as hard as steihler bones guys in the ass yknow what im sayin? why you gotta front? so its like "yo, i be up here in canada and i be livin in dis house wif michael and caroline and chillien wit robin hatch, and i be like you i haf to get home so i can drive catherin around because shoot, she bored yo."

believe it.

canada be chill yo. look at catherins art. it be chiller. and by chill i mean fuckin cold.

it be halloween tomorrow s^ s^ s^ s^ s^!!!!!@!@!!!@!#GH









(NOTE: catherin wrote all of this. but im sure that if eric updated his livejournal it would say the same thing. blame my gangsta lifestyle on uma.)

Current Mood: ERIC LEVITZ BE GETTIN CRUNK
Current Music: mah main man fiddy

well I'll be damned, they were right, i'm drowning upside down

sooooooo


everything's movin now, time is starting to speed up as the routine gets drilled into our heads

school's been....interesting

after school has been consistantly amazing

mad props to the non-sports playing/hallway sitting around gang

and especially to matt corona, who, after calling all people who where glasses gay, redeemed himself with this quote about mrs. mckee:

"everytime she laughs ten people in a communist country die"


today i went to strawberrys with catherin and picked up raising arizona for just 5 dilly

this weekend should be good

i appreaciate school quite a bit

its kinda like the whole thing that theres no beauty without pain. i think i need the monotony of it all to make the rest of my life feel so damn exhilirating.

i'm in heaven
trying to figure out which stack
they're going to stuff us atheists into
when Peter and his monkey laugh
and i laugh with them
i'm not sure what at
they point and say
we'll keep you in the back
polishing halos, baking manna and gas

well some guy comes in looking a bit like everyone i ever seen
he moves just like crisco disco
breath 100% listerine
he says looking at something else
but directing everything to me
ever time anyone gets on their knees to pray
well it makes my telephone ring
and i'll be damned
he said you were right
no one's running this whole thing
he had a theory too
he said that god takes care of himself
and you of you



ITS ALL NICE ON ICE, ALRIGHT!

yesterday

there was school

but then, there was ROCK LOBSTER

me, josh, jen kinney, and laura auhking, drove around the k-o parking lot blasting the b-52s classic...went briefly to the park...then through an hour's traffic to g-bury where we rented wet hot american summer, hung out in front of mikes enormous tv, i dropped a pizza, watched the movie, walked through suburbia and into the dark woods wheere we got lost and emerged in his neighbors cabbage patch.......



we were at the beach
everybody had matching towels
somebody went under a dock
there they saw a rock
but it wasnt a rock!
it was a

ROCK LOBSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crawl across towards your window
I'm calling softly from the street
always a lonely widow
half awake and sleeping on my feet
I'm of age but have no children
no quarter phone booth calls to home
just late-night television
inside my bedroom all alone

there is no use in waiting
offer up your steps so I can climb
show me all your figure paintings
etched in the middle of the night
let me stretch upon your carpet
let me hear the rain tap on your street
knowing I am safe on the inside
blankets wrapped and drifting off to sleep

what time is it?!?!?!

(full chorus) SKOOL TIME

what time is it?!?!?

SKOOL TIME

all the dogs in the house????????

WOOF WOOF WOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFF


God damn its moderatly adequate to be back!


So we've had two days so far, one real, one fake

needles to say the fake one was far more enjoyable, the best of the three orientations I've been a part of


we went to boston, went on an excellent duck tour with the great girabadli, who does firework impressions at a professional level......ate mall indian food....chilled with jack dierdre, lauren....walked with Josh.....sat in Quincy market talked about theater,,,,,we're doing twelf night this year apparantly.......watched best of jimmy fallon which was actually hillarious, my favorite part was when he called dinosaurs Jesus horses, doesnt make sense out of context but that was very ricccch


today, went to the classes


i have some cool teachers


Doc Serrow is da man bomb



i really like that Kingswood faculty is a halfway house for brillaint men and and women suffering from legal insanity

i have a private playwriting class thats just me alone with mr. chirrapa in his office.......things could get pretty hottt.......get me a little "extra credit" (wink wink, nudge nudge)





I'm kidding about the whole implicit oral sex with chirrapa thing.....its a joke.......................




DONT YOU FUCKING TELL ANYBODY!




....sorry......but seriously, i'm kidding.....




chilled all over the place eigth period with catherin lauren jack and grahm


after school was hot


orange couch in robersts with a soild crew of homedogs, just sittin around and shootin the shit, talking about the good years and making fun of people with downs syndrome



we're really good people on the inside




atleast i hope so






anyway, this should be an interesting year.




it should go quick





all i have to do is this same day over again


and again



and again




for the next nine months.



i'm a neon sign i stay open all the time.
so lets go
go go go

Current Music: the sound of silence....not the song but the actual sound.

so i havent updated for a month. lots of stuff's happenend:

-went to new york city met people, saw shows, felt like a writer, felt bohemian and like new york city is my home, i think i like it because there are o many fucked up people all around so many poor and or disgruntled and or dirty and or disastisfied looking, and it just feels much more real, i realize you dont see anyone who's truly havin trouble with life in the subarbs, but in the city your conscious that life isnt so easy, and we all fuck up.

-Hung around with catherin, mike, stu, ross, crashed a monopoly party saw steve stewart

-vistied sarah lawrence and columbia college met a tall girl on one of the tours who was nice, wouldnt stop talking, was writing a musical about a hospital ward.......decided i like small colleges

-went to the beach with mike, may or may not have observed an incestuous relationship between a brother and sister

-bought new death cab album...lotta piano but its solid

-watched the mets win then lose, then win, then loose some more



Now school starts tommorow with orientation trip to boston


Just one more year.


It's very weird. I have no idea where i'm gonna be in a year but i'm conscious that everything in my life right now has an expiration date, its a lot like being told you have 10 months to live.


i think it'll be a good year. Things have been up and down and around in circles and upside down loops this summer but i really think that everythings gonna end up flippin sweet.







this hurricane has reallly opened my eyes to poverty in america

i had no idea 10's of thousands of people didnt have the financial means to leave their homes when they're told staying would mean almost certain death.


Thank god i was born rich and above sea level.






sorrow leaks into your heart through a pinhole
like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
but while you debate half empty and half full
it's slowly rising
your love is gonna drown

Its been a crazy last seven days.

A lot of chillin with mike now that hes back from Princeton.

We went to Addison park to play football the other day. I saw my ole friend Dan there with four asian kids. They joined in and we had a pretty solid game of touch going when down the hill comes a hasidic jew in full hasidic jew garb and he says:

"You guys looked like you were having so muc fun, i just had to come over"

He joins the game and he takes CHARGE. He has a riddiculous arm, and hes callin all kinds of crazy plays. My favorite was when while running his tophat fell off so he clung to his yamaka with one hand and the ball with the other.



Visited stu and swam and stuff.


I leave for New York thursday for play stuff, by the way:

My play Penny will be presented as a staged reading with three others Wendsday August 10th at 4pm at the Abingdon Theater Company, 312 West 36th Street, New York City.

Admsission is free but you have to reserve seats by calling 212-594-5440



anyway





things got kinda weird about a week ago but its been gettin better since then and now i'm starting to think that everythin's gonna be alright


dont worry
even if things end up a bit too heavy















we'll all float on
(toes crossed)

and i say there's trouble when everything is fine/the need to destroy things creeps up on me everytime



weird day





weird night

Current Mood: numb

So i'ved done some stuff.....a lot of sleeping...a little gardening....a little fighting with my mom but thats been settled now and we're back on good terms. The biorthgivers can be tough sometimes but they're good people.

a little hangin out

catherin and i got muffins and met diedre and ben in elizabeth park a few days ago, i have no idea when...time is very ireelevant these days.....

visited vasser and bard

i wont be attending vasser, they have nocreative writing

bard on the other hand was pretty tiggghhht

so i might go there

it was a nice little trip. Me and my mom (my mom and I for the gramatically inclined) stayed at the Vasser alumni house, which was cool. There's only one tv in the place in the lounge, so i was worried about having to knife somebody so i could watch my stuff but no one was there

watched the mets game

the mets are getting better

i like watching baseball

too bad i could never hit

i walked around the subarbs of pughkeepsie late at night and listened to tunes...very nice.

then i watched the daily show with an enourmously muscled black man who was getting married the next day



yesterday i visted a guy named griffin at the uha dorms with catherin, it was supposed to be a party with all her art friends but apparntly that got switched to tonight. we played poker sort of. it was nice. griff was pretty kewl d00d.

Now here's this entry in computer code, in case there are any robots reading:

010101001010110100000101010101010101001001101010101010101010101010101010000011101100101010101010101001010101010010101010101010101011011010010101010101010101010001101111110000000011111000101010100101010101010010100110101010010101010101100101010101010010101001010100101010101010010100110011001010101001101010101010101001011001010101010101010101010101010010101010101010100001010101010010101010101010010101010101001010101010101010100100000000000001111111000001010101010010101110101010100010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010101010101001010011010101001010101010110010101010101001010100101010010101010101001010011001100101010100110101010101010100101100101010101010101010101010101001010101010101010000101010101001010101010101001010101010100101010101010101010010000000000000111111100000101010010101010010000000011111100101010100110010101010101010101010101010010




now i'm gonna go to sleep.

(0101010110010)